Week of 2 November, 2020

  • Biden won! This is great news not just for America, but the entire world. It’s a ray of hope for those of us who have been disillusioned the democratic process in recent years.
  • Now if only we could get rid of our own knock-off version of the Orange Man. Sadly, we have to endure until 2024 before we get a chance to vote him out.
  • In more good news, I finished the first part of Crafting Interpreters! I used Python for my implementation, which you can find here. Next step: do it all over again in Rust 🦀
  • The medication I was initially prescribed for anxiety had been working well for me until three weeks ago, when it inexplicably started giving me brain fog and putting me to sleep for most of the day. I was put a different medication last week, and this one makes me wired. Fun. Funfunfun.
  • Since I wrote my last weeknote, I’ve really gotten into Emacs. Like, really really really gotten into Emacs. Besides programming, I’m now using it to read RSS, take notes, keep a journal, manage files, and read email. I’ll maybe possibly probably write a longer post about this later.
  • Even though this has been a terrible year for musicians, a surprisingly large number of good albums were still released. My favorites so far are RTJ4, SAWAYAMA, how i’m feeling now, Saint Cloud, BOSS, and Ultra Mono. There’s still a few weeks to go before the end of the year, so I’ll probably end up expanding this list pretty soon.

Week of 13 July, 2020

  • This week was a rollercoaster. Side effects from my anxiety medication either left me feeling too drowsy or too wired. These swings became markedly less pronounced over the weekend, so I suppose things will get better as my body gets used to all the new chemicals.
  • The good news is that the medication is working! I haven’t felt this calm, stable, and clear-headed in years. That’s not to say my anxiety is “cured”. It’s still there, only duller now. I’ll only truly be able to manage it with good diet, exercise, meditation, and therapy. It’s a long road ahead.
  • Talking of exercise: I bought myself a Ring Fit Adventure to keep myself moving through these quarantimes. The first time I played it, I underestimated how intense it would be and did forty squats without realizing it. I then spent the next hour panting on the couch. The game is super addictive, which makes it easy to overdo. However, with the intensity set to a level my body can handle, I’ve really started looking forward to my workout sessions.
  • Since my brain is not on fire anymore, I can read fiction again. I read Stephen King’s Bag of Bones over the week, and started working my way through Blake Crouch’s Recursion over the weekend. It’s been a little over a year since I’ve read fiction written by a man, and reading these two books back-to-back makes me feel a little guilty about breaking my streak. But both these stories are just so much fun that I’ll let it slide. Just this once.
  • I’ve decided to stay away from politics and the news cycle for a while, until I can figure out how to engage with them without affecting my mental health. I’ve cut down on the accounts I follow on Twitter, and even started spending less time on tech forums. There’s a lot of negativity in online discussions, and it rubs off on me at a subconscious level. I’m tired of feeling angry and wound-up all the time, so I’m checking out for the moment.
  • My Twitter is now 50% cat pictures and 50% shitposting.

Catch-22

“You mean there’s a catch?”

“Sure there’s a catch,” Doc Daneeka replied. “Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn’t really crazy.”

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to, he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Week of 25 May, 2020

  • America is burning. India has been burning for months. Unable to contribute much to what’s going on, I’m educating myself. The only thing I really know how to do is read and write, so I’m reading. Maybe one day I will write.
  • I cooked a giant pot of creamy, buttery dal bukhara and I’m unreasonably proud of this achievement. I’d make a great house-husband.
  • Darkest Dungeon was free for the weekend, so I’ve spent the last two days gleefully getting my ass kicked by eldritch horrors. I’ve been wanting to play this game for months, and I’m happy to report that it lives up to the hype.
  • Tehanu is incredible. You can tell within the first few pages that Le Guin was an entirely different person by the time she got around to writing it.
  • Work has been frustrating. I’ve been spinning my wheels trying to build a thing that should be straightforward, but isn’t. It’s been making me not want to even look at my IDE. I’m close to a solution now, so hopefully this period of reduced productiveness will only last a few more days.
  • Charli still on repeat.

India is No Longer India

Aatish Taseer writes:

By the time I was an adult, the urban elites and the “heart of the nation” had lost the means to communicate. The elites lived in a state of gated comfort, oblivious to the hard realities of Indian life—poverty and unemployment, of course, but also urban ruin and environmental degradation. The schools their children went to set them at a great remove from India, on the levels of language, religion, and culture. Every feature of their life was designed, to quote Robert Byron on the English in India, to blunt their “natural interest in the country and sympathy with its people.” Their life was, culturally speaking, an adjunct to Western Europe and America; their values were a hybrid, in which India was served nominally while the West was reduced to a source of permissiveness and materialism. They thought they lived in a world where the “idea of India” reigned supreme—but all the while, the constituency for this idea was being steadily eroded. It was Bharat that was ascendant. India’s leaders today speak with contempt of the principles on which this young nation was founded. They look back instead to the timeless glories of the Hindu past. They scorn the “Khan Market gang”—a reference to a fashionable market near where I grew up that has become a metonym for the Indian elite. Hindu nationalists trace a direct line between the foreign occupiers who destroyed the Hindu past—first Muslims, then the British—and India’s Westernized elite (and India’s Muslims), whom they see as heirs to foreign occupation, still enjoying the privileges of plunder.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/05/exile-in-the-age-of-modi/609073/