Week of 2 November, 2020

  • Biden won! This is great news not just for America, but the entire world. It’s a ray of hope for those of us who have been disillusioned the democratic process in recent years.
  • Now if only we could get rid of our own knock-off version of the Orange Man. Sadly, we have to endure until 2024 before we get a chance to vote him out.
  • In more good news, I finished the first part of Crafting Interpreters! I used Python for my implementation, which you can find here. Next step: do it all over again in Rust 🦀
  • The medication I was initially prescribed for anxiety had been working well for me until three weeks ago, when it inexplicably started giving me brain fog and putting me to sleep for most of the day. I was put a different medication last week, and this one makes me wired. Fun. Funfunfun.
  • Since I wrote my last weeknote, I’ve really gotten into Emacs. Like, really really really gotten into Emacs. Besides programming, I’m now using it to read RSS, take notes, keep a journal, manage files, and read email. I’ll maybe possibly probably write a longer post about this later.
  • Even though this has been a terrible year for musicians, a surprisingly large number of good albums were still released. My favorites so far are RTJ4, SAWAYAMA, how i’m feeling now, Saint Cloud, BOSS, and Ultra Mono. There’s still a few weeks to go before the end of the year, so I’ll probably end up expanding this list pretty soon.

Week of 29 June, 2020

  • My anxiety has been making it incredibly hard for me to function normally. In the past few weeks I’ve either been a giant ball of nerves, or walking around like a zombie because of mental exhaustion.
  • It has been impossible for me to maintain focus for long enough to type coherent sentences, which is why I’ve skipped writing weeknotes for the last two weeks.
  • The good news is that I’m finally speaking to a therapist!
  • Yay!
  • On the recommendation of my therapist, I’m also speaking to a psychiatrist. They’ve put me on an SSRI for a few months. Turns out I’ve had Generalized Anxiety Disorder for pretty much my whole life, which explains a lot of things.
  • To keep better track of my moods and medication, I’ve started keeping a Bullet Journal. I’d already been using a method that was pretty close to what BuJo prescribes, but BuJo gives my notes a little more structure.
  • As my anxiety has worsened, my ability to read fiction has deteriorated. I can understand the stories just fine, but I’ve completely lost the ability to visualize things in my head. I need to take my mind’s eye to an optometrist. I’m hoping things will improve as the SSRI and therapy start to work their magic. In the meantime, I’m welcoming suggestions for non-fiction books that (a) are comforting, and (b) can be parsed and understood by this drug addled brain of mine.
  • I’m staying away from everything political for the moment. I hope one day I can be politically engaged without damaging my mental health, but for now I need to take care of myself.
  • I’ve bought myself an adult coloring book. While it doesn’t help me feel more relaxed, it does keep the anxiety spirals in check. Whenever I’m feeling agitated, I can go and color for a while until I calm down. It also keeps me away from screens, which is always a win in my book.
  • SAWAYAMA is a 10/10 album. It’s currently tied with how i’m feeling now as my second favorite album of the year, with the top spot taken by RTJ4.

Week of 8 June, 2020

  • I didn’t post a weeknote last Sunday. For the last two weeks, my mental health has been at its lowest point in almost a decade. I’m better today, but some days it gets so bad that I can barely move.
  • On my worst day, when I was walking around the house in a kind of brain fog, I couldn’t even understand the dialog in one of my favorite TV shows.
  • The good news is that I’m finally speaking to a therapist. Yay?
  • Needless to say that I haven’t been cooking very much, but I did manage to make a great paneer butter masala on one of those rare days when I felt a bit like myself. Cooking continues to be a source of joy, an unlikely outlet for creative energies, and a way to connect with my friends.
  • I’m taking a break from the Earthsea books — not because I dislike them, but because I want to step out of that world for a little while. I’ve started reading Gideon the Ninth, which is sheer insanity. In a good way. I expect to write a lot more about this book in the future.
  • I discovered a game called Children of Morta through a Steam sale. It’s quite similar to Diablo 2 in terms of gameplay. Since my brain refuses to think straight anymore, this has been a good way for me to forget about the world while mindlessly slashing through skeletons, spiders, goblins, and unnameable blobs.
  • I’ve found that if I really want to have fun, I should really only be playing one game at a time. There just isn’t enough time in the day. So, I’ve decided that I’m not going to move on from Children of Morta until I finish it or get bored.
  • RTJ4 dropped, and it’s as flawless and magnificent and sublime as I imagined it would be. Please go listen to it. Now.

Week of 25 May, 2020

  • America is burning. India has been burning for months. Unable to contribute much to what’s going on, I’m educating myself. The only thing I really know how to do is read and write, so I’m reading. Maybe one day I will write.
  • I cooked a giant pot of creamy, buttery dal bukhara and I’m unreasonably proud of this achievement. I’d make a great house-husband.
  • Darkest Dungeon was free for the weekend, so I’ve spent the last two days gleefully getting my ass kicked by eldritch horrors. I’ve been wanting to play this game for months, and I’m happy to report that it lives up to the hype.
  • Tehanu is incredible. You can tell within the first few pages that Le Guin was an entirely different person by the time she got around to writing it.
  • Work has been frustrating. I’ve been spinning my wheels trying to build a thing that should be straightforward, but isn’t. It’s been making me not want to even look at my IDE. I’m close to a solution now, so hopefully this period of reduced productiveness will only last a few more days.
  • Charli still on repeat.

Week of 11 May, 2020

  • I got the air-conditioning fixed! It’s amazing what a few nights of sleeping in 24ºC can do for your anxiety. My mood is better, I feel more energetic, and I’m able to do things around the house again.
  • I’ve given up on the reading list I set for myself and decided to just read fiction for the rest of this year, or until the COVID-19 situation gets better. Reading fiction doesn’t do much to fix my anxiety, but it’s easier to read than non-fiction and distracts me from what’s going on in the world.
  • Talking of fiction, I’ve been completely obsessed with The Dispossessed lately. It’s not just the idea of an anarchist society that excites me, but also the fact that this is one of the few SF stories I’ve read that talk about what a better world than ours might look like. A lot of SF tends to lean towards dystopias, but The Dispossessed attempts to imagine a new, better future.
  • Continuing my Ursula K. Le Guin binge, I’ve also been reading the Earthsea series. I can’t say I’m enjoying it very much yet, but I plan to stick with it.
  • The new Charli XCX album is one of those era-defining pieces of work that people will still be talking about a decade from now. The only pop record I like better than how i’m feeling now is EMOTION, which is really saying something.
  • This also happens to be the week I discovered Griselda Records. I’m not a huge fan of the classic NY boom-bap sound, but there’s something about how Griselda approaches it that makes all their records very listenable. The individual tracks on Westside Gunn’s Pray for Paris and Conway the Machine’s No One Mourns the Wicked kind of blend into each other, but the albums as a whole are really solid.
  • For the last year I’d been trying to get myself into the habit of listening to music without any distractions. I used to be able to do it four or five years ago, but these days it’s hard to keep my brain focused on just the music. I now prefer scrolling through Instagram or Reddit as I work my way through a new album. I doubt I can force my brain to change — trust me, I’ve tried — so I’m just making peace with this. Listening to music is supposed to be fun, and I’m going to do whatever feels most comfortable.
  • RTJ4 dropping on June 4! Killer Mike and El-P are the reason I’m still here today, so to say I’m excited would be the understatement of the year.

Week of 13 April, 2020

  • The cats have stopped fighting! Minor squabbles still break out once or twice a day, but for the most part they’ve settled into an uneasy truce.
  • Found a contract for the next six weeks. It’s not a Rust gig as I had hoped, but it involves some heavyweight data visualization in the browser that will call for a lot of cleverness. I expect to enjoy this thoroughly.
  • Eating a lot of cheese this week. No regrets.
  • Working through Crafting Interpreters at a decent pace, though I could probably be going faster. Instead of just translating the Java code in the book, I’m trying to write idiomatic Rust as far as possible. This takes longer and makes my design totally different from what’s in the book, but I’m learning far more this way. I’ve also added a few additional features to my implementation, like proper line editing in the REPL using rustyline.
  • My fitness trainer now has an online lesson plan, so I’m back to working out. Feels good to be doing something with this bag of meat.
  • Still irritated at how much pointless detail that Gandhi book has. But I’m going to get through this thing one way or another.
  • Still playing Radiant Historia and Into the Breach, still loving the hell out of both games.
  • Album highlight of the week is Cha Cha Palace by Angelica Garcia.

Perpendicular

Years ago, when going outside was legal and I still believed in Pitchfork scores, I started a music blog with a couple of friends. We eventually shut it down because reasons, but thankfully The Wayback Machine managed to capture a few snapshots.

Here it is in all its glory, minus the CSS and media.

Published
Categorized as Links Tagged

Week of April 6, 2020

  • Spent a lot of time on calls with potential clients. Happy to report that I can sound very professional even when I’m not wearing pants.
  • Started reading Crafting Interpreters. With a lot more Rust under my belt than the last time I tried this, things are going better than I expected. I even managed to add reasonable (by my standards) error handling to my baby interpreter!
  • Started posting things on this blog again, trying to keep it fun and low-stakes. I want to have fun writing, and turns out Growing an Audience™ and Using Fully-Formed Sentences™ is the exact opposite of fun.
  • Played a lot of Radiant Historia on the 3DS. I’m loving the gameplay and story so far, but the combat needs to get more interesting soon.
  • Played a few hours of Into the Breach on the Switch. Holy. Fucking. Shit. This is easily one of the best designed video games I’ve ever played. I see myself pouring many many hours into this gem!
  • We got a new kitten just before pandemic, hoping that she’d become friends with our older cat. Did not go according to plan. It’s impossible to leave them in the same room together without one of them trying to murder the other every five minutes. We’re keeping them separate for now, hoping for at least an uncomfortable truce.
  • The first half of Gandhi: The Years that Changed the World was incredible, but now the book is getting repetitive. It has a lot of detail that I consider unnecessary. I’m somehow powering through the last 200 pages so I can pick up Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea series.
  • Some albums I enjoyed this week were: Saint Cloud by Waxahatchee, 2017-2019 by Against All Logic, and Aarupa by Quinton Barnes.