This week was a rollercoaster. Side effects from my anxiety medication either left me feeling too drowsy or too wired. These swings became markedly less pronounced over the weekend, so I suppose things will get better as my body gets used to all the new chemicals.
The good news is that the medication is working! I haven’t felt this calm, stable, and clear-headed in years. That’s not to say my anxiety is “cured”. It’s still there, only duller now. I’ll only truly be able to manage it with good diet, exercise, meditation, and therapy. It’s a long road ahead.
Talking of exercise: I bought myself a Ring Fit Adventure to keep myself moving through these quarantimes. The first time I played it, I underestimated how intense it would be and did forty squats without realizing it. I then spent the next hour panting on the couch. The game is super addictive, which makes it easy to overdo. However, with the intensity set to a level my body can handle, I’ve really started looking forward to my workout sessions.
Since my brain is not on fire anymore, I can read fiction again. I read Stephen King’s Bag of Bones over the week, and started working my way through Blake Crouch’s Recursion over the weekend. It’s been a little over a year since I’ve read fiction written by a man, and reading these two books back-to-back makes me feel a little guilty about breaking my streak. But both these stories are just so much fun that I’ll let it slide. Just this once.
I’ve decided to stay away from politics and the news cycle for a while, until I can figure out how to engage with them without affecting my mental health. I’ve cut down on the accounts I follow on Twitter, and even started spending less time on tech forums. There’s a lot of negativity in online discussions, and it rubs off on me at a subconscious level. I’m tired of feeling angry and wound-up all the time, so I’m checking out for the moment.
My Twitter is now 50% cat pictures and 50% shitposting.